the clouds were all but gone.
It seemed it was the perfect day
for my first marathon.
The when was on the 6th of June
The year 2003.
The where was San Diego and
The who was A and me.
I stood in a line fifty yards long
Just waiting for the john.
I wished I was a man so I
Could pee right on the lawn.
We'd had some coffee, water and
A bagel and banana.
I had on a beige chapeau
A wore a blue bandana.
The gun went off but we were packed.
All we could do was creep
Slowly toward the starting line
Like one big herd of sheep.
We finally began to run.
Not stopping was my goal.
All along the course we heard
Bands playing rock and roll.
Someone told me we should drink
at every water station.
That seemed obvious to me
to practice good hydration.
Every cup that I picked up
Was poured right to the top
But religiously I'd pause
And drink every last drop.
We ran ahead but it was packed
We hadn't any leeway.
I think it was ‘round mile 10
That we got on the freeway.
It was at the halfway point,
A opened up a Gu.
I wasn't sure that I could make
All twenty-six point two.
We were running very slow
Just like we did in training.
The sun was hot, my feet were sore
And I started complaining.
A was pushing up the pace
So I turned to him and said,
“If you want to win this fucking race
Then you go run ahead.”
He stayed with me but ran some feet
Away, just like a stalker.
Our pace was so slow that we were
Passed even by a walker.
But then I started struggling
And faltering my gait.
A came back to help me when
I began to hallucinate.
What I learned after the race,
But clearly did not know
Was that I was suffering from what
Was too much H2O.
Finally we got near the end,
The crowd was big and plenty.
Eventually we crossed the line
Around five hours twenty.
I saw a girl throw up when she
Was just trying to cough.
But she was better than the guy
Whose whole nipple fell off.
I was happy we were done,
Though our time was a disaster.
The next year in DC we ran
A whole one hour faster.
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