Thursday, May 16, 2013

A Race for Mt. Baldy



I have been scouring the wide web of the world to find an article I read almost a year ago about the rise in popularity of Orienteering.  These are races held in a secret location where runners use maps, compasses, and periodic clues to navigate their way to the finish line.  Sadly I could not find the original article (‘twould help if I could remember the name of the publication) but I did learn that this type of competition also goes by the dubious moniker of ROGAINE-ing.

According to Wikipedia, the word is derived from the names of three of the founders from the Australian Melbourne Mountaineering Club: Rod Phillips, Gail Davis, and Neil Phillips (RoGaiNe).  However, according to other random blog sites, it’s an acronym for Rugged Outdoor Group Activity Involving Navigation and Endurance.  Considering the reliability of the sources, I’m going to assume that both and neither are true because the internet is a magical place where all realities coexist, details don’t need to be fact-checked before publication, and usually no one from the passive masses will call a blogger out on her bullshit (thank god).  Whatever the case, I adore the unintentional poetry of naming an adventure race targeting the most virile and foolhardy among us after a medicated cream prescribed for hair loss.

I am hereby making a push for a new adventure race involving performance-enhanced competitors being chased by robots until they get to the finish line, like a hyper-aggressive game of tag.  I think it should be called Vein Injecting Athletes Getting Run Around.

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